With this being the first blog post, it feels appropriate to give a little introduction about who I am and why I’m doing this. I’m guessing you read the title of this entry, so I’ll take it from there. (You can also read the more detailed version of this story on HelloGiggles.)
When I got pregnant, I was 21. The last thing I wanted to be was a mom. To me, this role was the antithesis to my ambitions as a filmmaker. At the same time, I’d always known that if I were to face an unexpected pregnancy, I would place the baby in an open adoption (where you keep in contact with the adoptive family as your child grows up).
However, as I progressed into later trimesters, I began to question whether a decision like this would leave me in long-term regret. My child’s extended family had offered generous help, neutralizing any fears for a lack of resources. So instead of having to battle logistical concerns, I had to determine whether my sense of dignity could accept a little (okay– a lot of) help.
In the end, my son was born 10 days early and I just wasn’t ready to let him go.
So here I am, close to two years of life with him, and while it certainly has its trials (and will have many more to come), I can honestly say that this decision has changed me for the better—not just in respects to my personality, but also to my craft.
For one thing, having the responsibility of my son has motivated me towards my goals with a greater urgency than I’ve ever felt before. When you have a child to provide for, there is no time for dilly-dallying. The projects you take on have to matter, and you have to think strategically about how they might lead to an income stream.
I intend to use this blog as an outlet for my experiences as a mom and filmmaker to help anyone who identifies with both or either of those descriptions. My hope is that we can have some fruitful discussion on effective indie filmmaking and even make some movies together.